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"John Vorhees is the funniest man on earth!" Anonymous drunk in audience
"I laughed so hard I crapped my pants!" John's best friend, he craps his pants all the time
"Hysterical! I can't believe he made me laugh so hard!" Girl who took John's virginity
"I know sometimes I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help myself...
he's funny!" Tall woman, probably on drugs
"The only thing he is more than funny is sexy!" John's mother, they have issues
"Hey, anything to get him out of the house!" John's wife, kids & anyone visiting